am committed;

I got engaged on 11^th May 2008. My marital status changed from Single to Committed. Every one is excited about this day; even I was waiting for this day. So thought of writing blog to keep this day alive for forever. Let me introduce her, She is Madu, she is from Bhagalpur, Bihar. She is postgraduate in Computer Science. She works for techbook, NewDelhi. …shall I introduce myself :)  

 

Due to work load in office I got only 2 day leave for my engagement so I started on Friday evening to my native (Khagaria, Bihar, only 2500 KM from Bangalore) with fear that I will be able to reach before Sunday. Luckily flight didn’t make any delay thanks to Indigo airline…and then train was on time and reached mokameh junction on time… the connecting train to my native was also on time …simply great… shall I thank Mr. Laloo ji :) well thanks to Indian railways… I reached home Saturday afternoon in less then 24 hours.

 

At home Mummy, papa and my brother Nilesh was very busy with shopping and arranging all required for the day. I helped them in shopping but for very few things they have already done most of the shopping.  Our plan was, we all will go from home to Bhagalour and we have also asked our relative there to join us in function. So in Saturday evening started calling again to all of them to remind and to request them to be on time.

 

Sunday the 11^th May 2008 morning, we all rushed to get ready and start from home, we arrange every thing called the booked rental MUV and started to Bhagalpur. We reached and took rest at our uncle’s house, we sent our vehicle to pick-up our relatives in town, we all reached the hotel in evening, little late then the scheduled time.

 

I got ready then pandit ji has started the pooja-archna first me and then Madhu has done, all gifts bought from both side has been exchanged.  And now we were ready for the ring-exchange ceremony, every one standing and waiting, I heard a voice “Kaun pehle pehnayega?” (who will be first to present the ring)… no answer … everyone quite.. me keeping smile on face no answer.. then some one said… “Ladies first !! All the time” so here it is… Madhu has put ring in my finger... then i put ring in her finger... wishes, laugh and claps..:)

 

I tell you, I don’t know where I was in this moment ; I didn’t feel this moment ; I don’t know when I have  exchanged the ring and when my status got changed SINGLE to COMMITED. Later when I realized people were giving blessings…and we were sitting on chairs with camera flashes every where…

 

Me and Madhu …

The Washer man and the Foolish Donkey.

To refresh your memory, and for the benefit of those who have not grown up listening to this moral story, it goes like this…

There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog. One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep but the donkey and the dog were awake. The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson. The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly. Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.

Moral of the story " One must not engage in duties other than his own"

Now take a new look at the same  story…

The washer man was a well educated man from a premier management institute. He had the fundas of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night. He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it. Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and became his favorite pet. The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dogs duties  as well. In the annual appraisal the dog managed a " meets requirement" . Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around. The donkey was rated as " star performer". The donkey had to live up to his already high performance standards. Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a job rotation… 

Lesson from Life..

“Challenge is something that pushes you up.

Life is not just a routine affair.

Its a goal to be achieved a challenge to be met.

we give our best to get what we like.

or else we will be made like what we get.”

“It breaks your heart to see the one you love is happy with someone else,

But its more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.”

Marriage: An Audience to your life...

A friend of mine thinks he can sing well. And when we guys are in a conversation would suddenly turn towards one of us and ask which song was the one that he was humming. And then he would virtually talk the song and ask us if he got the tune right... One day i asked him if there was one person in the world who thought he sang well. And boy i was so damn sure there wouldn't be any. He said there was. His wife. He said his wife thought he sang beautifully. In fact to our surprise, his wife would actually ask him to sing certain favorite songs of hers and listen to it enthusiastically.... ......................."I found the answer last Saturday. I was watching Shall We Dance on HBO and it all made sense. Susan Sarandon in a half a minute dialogue made it crystal clear. In the scene she says that we marry because we need a witness to our insignificant lives. We need a witness to see what we do. We need somebody to watch us all the time and cheer us so that we never ever get to feel that our lives are worthless. Have look at this video."...
snip from: http://rkvsraman.blogspot.com/
Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdBATA_Ag5s

The 90/10 Principle

The 90/10 Principle

Author : Stephen Covey

Have you read this before? Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations). What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breakingdown. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.
How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light., but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let's use an example. You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You haveno control over what just what happened. What happens when the next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?

The answer is D. You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need,to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time tolook through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves.You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.

If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive? Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.

You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.

The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse. Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it.

The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. There never seem to be a success in life. Bad days follow bad days. Terrible things seem to be constantly happening. There is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships. Worry consumes time. Anger breaks friendships and life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to the fullest. Friends are lost. Life is a bore and often seems cruel. Does this describe you? If so, do not be discouraged .

You can be different! Understand and apply the 90/10 principle. It will change your life.

People are made to be loved ...

“People are made to be loved and Things are made to be used...but in this world.....People are being used ...and... things are being loved....”