“Challenge is something that pushes you up.
Life is not just a routine affair.
Its a goal to be achieved a challenge to be met.
we give our best to get what we like.
or else we will be made like what we get.”
“It breaks your heart to see the one you love is happy with someone else,
But its more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.”
A friend of mine thinks he can sing well. And when we guys are in a conversation would suddenly turn towards one of us and ask which song was the one that he was humming. And then he would virtually talk the song and ask us if he got the tune right... One day i asked him if there was one person in the world who thought he sang well. And boy i was so damn sure there wouldn't be any. He said there was. His wife. He said his wife thought he sang beautifully. In fact to our surprise, his wife would actually ask him to sing certain favorite songs of hers and listen to it enthusiastically.... ......................."I found the answer last Saturday. I was watching Shall We Dance on HBO and it all made sense. Susan Sarandon in a half a minute dialogue made it crystal clear. In the scene she says that we marry because we need a witness to our insignificant lives. We need a witness to see what we do. We need somebody to watch us all the time and cheer us so that we never ever get to feel that our lives are worthless. Have look at this video."...
snip from: http://rkvsraman.blogspot.com/
Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdBATA_Ag5s
| The 90/10 Principle |
| Author : Stephen Covey |
Have you read this before? Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations). What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breakingdown. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.
How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light., but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.
Let's use an example. You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You haveno control over what just what happened. What happens when the next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is D. You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need,to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time tolook through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves.You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.
Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.
If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive? Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.
You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.
The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse. Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it.
The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. There never seem to be a success in life. Bad days follow bad days. Terrible things seem to be constantly happening. There is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships. Worry consumes time. Anger breaks friendships and life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to the fullest. Friends are lost. Life is a bore and often seems cruel. Does this describe you? If so, do not be discouraged .
You can be different! Understand and apply the 90/10 principle. It will change your life.
“People are made to be loved and Things are made to be used...but in this world.....People are being used ...and... things are being loved....”
Before you start reading would like to introduce the writer :
it is posted by nila tanzil (http://nilatanzil.blogspot.com/2006/03/just-f.html)
It's her thoughts her perception but worth to read it, we all have similar problem in our life, in-fact i do have similar problem ...
A lot of time, girls say “Let’s just be friends” to guys as a rejection of their proposal. For me, when I say it, I really mean it. I really mean to be his friend and from my point of view, it’s better that way: pure friends, no romance involved. Unfortunately, some guys can’t face the reality; they remain silent and then disappear from my life. That’s a pity.
When I say, “Let’s just be friends”, it means that I’m not attracted to him in many ways – it can be physically, emotionally, etc. I don’t feel like seeing him everyday, missing him, nor addicted to him. Also don’t have the passions to kiss, hug him, etc. No way.
A relationship with a guy in the “Just Friends” box can get complicated when he can’t accept the fact that I don’t want to be his girlfriend. Some guys can be very obsessive and it’s scary. This type of guy feels more challenged when a girl rejects him. As a result, he can send us sms hundred of times a day, call us up thousand of times a day, and when we don’t pick up the phone, he will keep on trying. The worst thing is that he becomes your stalker. Ouch!!!
For this type of guy, it’s very obvious that I can’t stand to be his friend coz he’s simply annoying and scares me as hell. So, how do I react and feel to this obsessive type of “Just Friends”?
• Don’t reply to his sms
• Don’t pick up to his phone calls [maybe I will pick it up once, but not ALL his phone calls]
• Find excuses for any dinner or lunch invitation
• Don’t sound excited on the phone
• Feel annoyed and disturbed
• As much as I can, I don’t want to be in touch with him
• If his behavior is getting worse, I’ll be frank to him and say that he’s already disturbing and it’s better not to contact me anymore [am good at it]
• Will ask him to find a girlfriend or potential gf and stop bothering me.
On the other hand, if the guy can accept the reality and take my offer to be friends, this is how I will react and feel:
• Will be happy to see and share any stories with him
• Will be friendly on the phone
• Will be a good listener for him as well and provide counsel in love department whenever he needs it
• Will treat him as a good friend of mine
• Will respect him for his BIG heart
• As time goes by, I’ll mention about whose inside my Potential Boyfriend box and ask his opinion. It won’t hurt him anymore as he already becomes my best friend
So, as we can see, it’s better off to accept the reality, as we will not loose a friend. Instead, we’ll get a new best friend whom we can share our thoughts with.
Usually, guys don’t realize that their behaviors influence the way the girls’ treat them. Hopefully, the examples above make us realize that all we need is a BIG HEART. Having a big heart enables us to cherish the friendships, without wanting to have more out of it. It simply enables us to see a person from a different perspective… and it’s wonderful, you’ll see ☺.
It also works for me if a guy in the Potential Boyfriend box apparently doesn’t worth it. As I mentioned before, I will move him to the “Just Friends” box right away. By seeing him as a normal friend, my heart feels much more at ease. I don’t wait for his phone calls/sms/email anymore. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t contact me. Just like our friends, we will be happy to talk to them, but they don’t have to call us everyday, right?
So, hearing no news from him is no longer a torture for me. And I feel really good about it. I’ve made a good decision, I think ☺. At the end, I can admire him truly as a friend and feel grateful for that. It means that now I can see him from a different angle… which is much more pleasurable… ☺. Believe me.
So, Potential Boyfriend-Toy Boy-Just Friends, which one is the most difficult to handle? ;)
My answer will be: the Potential Boyfriend. Potential Bf absorbs my attention and energy at most. He can make my world turns upside down, which is not funny at all, if am not in the mood for taking a roller coaster ride. He can make me feel ‘head over hills’ if I know that he has the same strong feelings toward me. Which is a great feeling to have, of course! He can easily turn me down, however, only by a small unfavorable thing that he does. It’s quite exhausting. So, I have to be in a good condition, emotionally, to be able to handle these kinds of stuffs. If he’s really worth all the dizziness, then I’ll take my roller coaster ride ☺.
Well then, I have to excuse myself now. Hopefully the last three posts can entertain everyone who reads it! Take it easy… ☺
“...we see only the dark side of life...............darkness is there..........but that is there just to make us understand....what is light...........sorrows come....just to make us realize what is happiness..............there is light......ther is happiness................which can conquer the darkness.....any sorrows....which come on our way…”
