monkey story

A Nice monkey story

from: http://rkvsraman.blogspot.com/2005/06/nice-monkey-story.html
Put eight monkeys in a room. In the middle of
the room is a ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas
hanging from a hook on the ceiling. Each time a monkey
tries to climb the ladder, all the other monkeys are
sprayed with ice water, which makes them miserable.

Soon enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the
ladder, all of the other monkeys, not wanting to be
sprayed, set upon him and beat him up. Soon, none of
the eight monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder.

One of the original monkeys is then removed, and a new
monkey is put in the room. Seeing the bananas and the
ladder, he wonders why none of the other monkeys are
doing the obvious, but, undaunted, he immediately
begins to climb the ladder. All the other monkeys fall
upon him and beat him silly. He has no idea why.

However, he no longer attempts to climb the ladder. A
second original monkey is removed and replaced. The
newcomer again attempts to climb the ladder, but all
the other monkeys hammer the crap out of him. This
includes the previous new monkey, who, grateful that
he's not on the receiving end this time, participates
in the beating because all the other monkeys are doing
it. However, he has no idea why he's attacking the new
monkey. One by one, all the original monkeys are
replaced. Eight new monkeys are now in the room. None
of them have ever been sprayed by ice water. None of
them attempt to climb the ladder. All of them will enthusiastically beat up
any new monkey who tries, without having any idea why.
"AND THAT'S HOW MANY COMPANY'S POLICIES GET ESTABLISHED".

Santa Singh

Santa Singh needed some money desperately.
Banta Tells him that if he prays to Shivji in a
temple,
his prayers would surely be answered.

So Santa goes to a Shiva temple. The temple had a
large Lord Shiva statue. Santa closes his eyes, bows
his head, joins his hands and says his prayer.

Santa: "Ho Jee tussee itne vadde ho. Itne mahan ho.
Saannoo 100 rupayen chahiye. Kripa karo."

The priest sees Santa praying. He wants to help Santa
but knows that a Sikh will never accept the money. So
he drops a 100-rupee note,from behind the statue, so
that Santa can not see him.

After Santa had said his prayers, and opens his eyes.
He sees the note
and thinks that god has listened to his prayers. He
takes the note and goes away.

However he is back again next day for money. Now the
priest is really annoyed with Santa.

The Priest decides that he is not going to give any
more
money to Santa. He changes the big Shivji statue
with a smaller one of Ganapathi that day.

Once again Santa goes to the prayer room. However he
does not notice the difference.
Santa closes his eyes, bows his head, joins his hands
and says his prayer.

Santa: "Ho Jee tussee itne vadde ho. Itne mahan ho.
Ajj to saannoo 50 rupayen hi chahiye. Kirpa karo."

After that he slowly opens his eyes and does not find
any money. So he lowers his demand a bit.

Santa: "O papa jee tussee itne vadde ho. Itne mahan
ho. Asee 10 rupayen me hi kaam chala lenge. Kirpa karo
jee."

Again he slowly opens his eyes and does not find any
money. He slowly raises his head and now notices the
small Ganapathi statue. He carefully looks left and
then right, and then slowly moves a bit forward near
the statue.

Then he whispers to the statue: "Puttar, Papa kitthe
hein ??!!

-:Nice story:-

The old Master instructed the unhappy young man to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then to drink it. "How does it taste?" the Master asked. "Awful," spat the apprentice.
 
The Master chuckled and then asked the young man to take another handful of salt and put it in the lake. The two walked in silence to the nearby lake and when the apprentice swirled his handful of salt into the lake, the old man said, "Now drink from the lake."
 
 
As the water dripped down the young man's chin, the Master asked, "How does it taste?" "Good!" remarked the apprentice. "Do you taste the salt?" asked the Master. "No," said the young man.
 
The Master sat beside this troubled young man, took his hands, and said, "The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains the same, exactly the same. But the amount we taste the 'pain' depends on the container we put it into. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things ..... Stop being a glass. Become a lake!"
 
Have a Blessed Day ! 

Whats Time :))

Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please?
Old Man: Certainly not.

Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to
loose,if you tell me the time?
Old Man: Yes, I may loose something if I tell you the
time.

Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how?

Old Man : See, if I tell you the time you will
definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will
ask me the time.
Young Man: Quite possible.

Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you
will ask my name and address.
Young Man: Quite possible.

Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you
were just passing by and came into wish me.

Then as a courtsey, I will offer you a cup of tea.
After my courteous approach you will try to come
again.
This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made
it.?
Young Man: Possible

Old Man: made itThen I will tell you that my daughter
has and I will then have to introduce my young and
pretty daughter to you &; you will admire my daughter.
Young Man: Smiles. ;)

Old Man: Now onwards you will try to meet my daughter
again and again. You will offer her to go out for a
movie together and a
date with you.
Young Man: Smiles

Old Man: My daughter may start liking you and start
waiting for you. After meeting regularly you will fall
in love with her and propose her for marriage.
Young Man: Smiles

Old Man: One day both of you will come to me and tell
me about your love and ask for my permission.
Young Man: Oh Yes! and smiles

Old Man: (Angrily) Young man, I will never marry my
daughter to a person like you who does not even own a watch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One fine day

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage,
started his bus, and drove off along the route. No
problems for the first few stops-a few people got on,
a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on.

Six feet eight,built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground.

He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't
pay!" and sat down at the back.

Did I mention that the driver wasfive feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it.

The next day the same thing happened-Big John got on
again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down.

And the next day, and the one after that,and so forth.

This grated on the bus driver, who started losing
sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of
him.

Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for
body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good
stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite
strong; what's more, he felt really good about
himself.

So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on
the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!," the driver
stood up, glared back at the passenger,and screamed,
"And why not?"

With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied,
"Big John has a bus pass."

Moral of the story:
Be sure there is a problem in the first place before
working hard to solve it.

Bank Balance

Some basic facts of life which applies to the Salaried People

Bank Balance
First Week : 10000
Second Week : 1000
Third Week : 100
Fourth week : 10

Conveyance
First W! eek : Auto ("I can afford it")
Second Week : Share Auto ("I would like to share. I am selfless!")
Third Week : Bus ("Public figures should travel by public transport")
Fourth week : Walk ("Good for health")

Girl friends
First Week : Eena, Meena, Tina ("I can BUY love")
Second Week : Meena, Tina ("I have enough girl friends")
Third Week : Tina ("I am loyal to her")
Fourth week : "Huh! There is no pure love on earth!"

Mobile Maintenance
First Week : Frequent outgoing calls ("This is what mobile is invented
for")
Second Week : Restricted outgoing cal! ls ("I should not create
unnecessary traffic on mobile lines")
Third Week : Rare outgoing calls ("Mobile should be used in urgent
situations only")
Fourth week : Only incoming calls ("I am not going to call her until she
calls me")

And last....but not the least...

Freaking out
First Week : "Come, let's go to Pizza Hut and freak out!"
Second Week : "Man, there is nothing in Hut . Let's go to Burns Road."
Third Week : "The best place to booze on earth is our house itself. What
say?"
Fourth week : "Heavy Fats are injurious to health"